Hanging In There

 I’m still here and sorry for being away for so long. I’ve never been much of a blogger although I wish I was better at posting. The surgery I had in September was a bit tougher than I had anticipated. I also had some problems with a blockage while in the hospital and that left me pretty sick plus extended the length of my stay. By the time I came home I realized the warnings of that being a difficult surgery were absolutely true! I don’t think I’ve had anything hit me as hard as that did and it has kept me mostly out of commission, although I am already back on chemo.

So, how did the surgery go? I had been told that they hoped to remove almost all of the visible cancer. They knew there would be cancer left but they hoped nothing major. As it turns out they were not able to remove as much as they had hoped. For a time, I lied to myself that I was headed for a remission and even hoped that I would have a chance to ring the bell. I can still hope that those things could be in my future, but not anytime soon.

I am having the heavy-duty, all-day chemo every three weeks. I had my first one three weeks ago and I have another one this Thursday. I had to tell my daughter-in-law, Kristi, that for the first time ever I would not be able to help with the preparations for our family Thanksgiving meal. Of course, she understands and has been so sweet. The doctors already have plans for me to start on infusions of Avastin (Bevacizumab) every three weeks beginning in January and continuing as long as possible. I will also have a pill form of chemo along with it. The infusions will be given at the Cancer Center so I will still get to see all the friends I’ve made there. I’ve been going to the Sarah Cannon Cancer Center for almost a year now and those girls are absolute angels! I love them all.

Tom and I have a week of medical appointments. Tom has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, I have one Wednesday, I have chemo Thursday, and Friday I go back in for an after chemo injection. It keeps us busy.

So, what else has been going on? Well, my dear great-granddaughter Juniper has just been the joy of my life! My granddaughter, Annika, her hubby Nick, and Juniper come to visit us around once a month and also bring dinner when they come. It is wonderful to see them all! When I can’t see them Annika posts pictures and videos of Juniper for me to see. She is not quite 18 months yet and she has grown so fast. She’s walking everywhere, has a great vocabulary already, and loves all of her books! I am so grateful that I am able to know and enjoy her!

My grandson, Gavin, stays busy with his job as a firefighter. We are all so proud of him although sometimes his job can be a little frightening, at least to his grandma! He is such a special and caring person and makes me feel so blessed, just like the rest of my family.

We are all looking forward to a family Thanksgiving dinner at my son’s house. There is nothing I love better than those occasions when our whole family gets together!

I hope you are all well and happy. It’s hard to believe this is November already! Thank you if you are still reading despite the fact that I am so slow about posting. I appreciate you all!

An Update or On With the Fight!

 

I promised an update on what is next with my fight against this cancer. I do feel like I’m in a war against the cancer that is attacking my body and my plan is to put up quite the fight against it! After going through the first series of chemo treatments without much success, in fact the cancer actually grew a bit, I am now about to head into Round Two. I had an appointment with my oncologist last week and he has a new plan of attack. The first round I had chemo every third week. This one we are hitting it a bit harder with chemo once a week. The treatments will be a slightly lower dose each week but the overall amount of medication will be increased compared to the first series of treatments. He is also adding a new medication this time. So now my medications will be Carboplatin, Paclitaxel, and Avastin. Avastin is the new one and it is supposed to do a good job at attacking cancer. They did not give it before because it can have more potential side effects. I am armed with several medications to help with the side effects including pain pills and a steroid to fight inflammation. Previously I took the steroid the first three days after chemo, this time I will take it the first seven days after the first chemo treatment using all three medications. Some of my treatments will just be the Paclitaxel, alternating with all three medications in one treatment. My first, which should be this coming week, will be all three medications and is expected to take all day.

So, knowing I am about to start a new and possibly tougher round, I have been trying to get things done around here so I can take it easy when the chemo starts. I’ve not really felt like doing a lot around the house but I’ve done what I can. I even gave Tom a haircut today!

There has not exactly been a lot of activity going on here but we have continued to have special family visits which we love! I think I mentioned in my last post that we were planning to go out to eat with my son Chris and his wife Kristi. We did that last weekend after first visiting them at their house. We had a wonderful time with them and great food at one of the many special Kansas City bar-b-que restaurants! Last Wednesday my other son, Sean who lives out of town, came and spent the day with us. It was so nice to catch up with him. Then on Friday my grandson Gavin came out to visit us, and even brought us some delicious homemade Snickerdoodle muffins that his girlfriend Amalia made!  We had such a nice visit with Gavin. He is really a kind and caring person and a very special grandson! Plus, I always enjoy him telling us about the various experiences he’s had as a firefighter in Independence.

After loading up on lots of family visits and love, I am ready to start Round Two with my fight against this cancer. It may be challenging but I have no intention of backing down to it! I want to thank every one of my blog friends here. There is something very special about bloggers. Even though I did not post for a year due to a variety of reasons, you are all still here and supporting me. That means so much to me. I may not post for a while depending on how things go, but I will post again as soon as I am able. Thank you all for being here! I am blessed in so many ways!

Ups and Downs

 

My fight with this cancer continues and while it is a bumpy road, I'm determined to keep fighting. My third chemo was three weeks ago and six days after it I was once again back in the hospital. I'm beginning to feel like the hospital is my second home. It was for the same reason as before, colitis that caused more pain than I could handle. This time I had some pain pills at home but they didn't touch this pain. I know I must sound like a wimp for pain but really, I'm not. I usually handle pain fairly well. Something about this chemo seems to cause me to get a bad colitis infection several days later. They do like me to be on IV antibiotics for that infection, so at least hospitalization allows for that.

The original plan was for me to have three rounds of chemo and then another CT scan. The hope was that the cancer would have shrunk some making surgery easier. Then after surgery I would have more chemo. When I was recently admitted to the hospital a CT scan was done and it showed that the cancers had actually grown. That was not what I wanted to hear. I had another CT scan this week of my lungs and I’ll get those results next week. I see my oncologist April 22^nd so I should find out then what happens next. I’m a little discouraged to hear the cancers have grown despite the three recent chemotherapy sessions. However, I’m certainly not giving up and I’m willing to have more chemo if necessary.

I’ve been having three weeks off between chemo treatments but this time I have an extra week off. That helps me to have a longer break and start to feel a bit better. I still don’t have a lot of energy but I am feeling like doing a bit more for a change and that is nice!

I had a special Sunday after I came home from the hospital. My granddaughter Annika, her husband Nick, and my adorable great-granddaughter Juniper came over for a visit and they even brought lunch! It was such a blessing to be able to spend some time with them. Juniper is nine months old now and crawling. She has always been the happiest child I have ever seen and she spreads joy everywhere she goes! Family always lifts my spirits and reminds me how very lucky I am!

This coming Saturday we will be able to visit with my oldest son Chris, and his wife Kristi. We will also be going out to eat with them which is something I have not done in quite a while, so it will be a special day for me. Then the next day my other son Sean, who lives out of town, will be coming to visit us. Family is everything and Tom and I are certainly blessed by ours!

 

Chemo

 

I said I would post again to bring you all up to date with what is going on here. While chemo is not the most pleasant thing to write about, it has been my life the past couple of months so I’ll fill you in on that. In order to get it all started I first had a minor outpatient surgery to get a port in my chest. My treatments all go through the port rather than a vein in my arm. They feel this is safer due to the strength of my chemo. Since my cancer is stage four and has spread from the ovaries to the colon, they are hitting it up fairly hard. I am currently having chemo treatments every three weeks and each treatment lasts almost a full day. I receive two different medications administered separately. The first one takes a little over three hours and the second one is a bit faster. I always have blood work first and then see the doctor. After that the chemotherapy gets started. I don’t need to tell you how scared I was, especially for the first treatment. I had seen family members go through this but it is a bit different when it is yourself.

                                           My view during chemotherapy

The actual treatments were not as bad as I had anticipated other than lasting for so long. The cancer center I go to has many chemo rooms and each room has four chairs for patients. I kind of like having two or three other patients there to visit with when I feel like it. The chairs recline so we can take naps which I sometimes do. They provide snacks, drinks and in my case lunch since I’m there all day. Before the treatments are started, they load you up on strong anti-nausea medications plus other meds to prevent side effects. These medications do help quite a bit. I always take something to read as well as a puzzle book to work on and there is a TV if you are interested. My son, Chris, drove me to the first treatment and I have been driving myself since then. I hope I will be able to continue driving since my husband Tom is no longer driving. The day after the chemo I go in to get an injection that helps keep my white cells from dropping too low. I also go in once a week for blood work. 

The truly difficult part of chemo for me starts the second night after the treatments. In my case I have terrible aches and pains along with a weakness I have never felt before. I have plenty of medication at home for nausea and it helps most of the time. However, I ended up in the hospital for a week a few days after my first chemo treatment. I was in so much pain plus I had a severe colitis infection.

I managed to stay out of the hospital after the second treatment but all of the discomfort I felt the first time just seemed worse. I also started feeling numb in my fingertips and toes which is related to chemo induced neuropathy. I have learned to not plan anything for at least a week after each chemo treatment because I am just barely able to function during that time.

My hair started coming out a week after the first treatment and by now I just have a little fuzz on my head. It is hard to see and experience that. I ordered some chemo hats to wear although I rarely leave the house these days. We are having groceries and most other items delivered which helps.

So yes, chemo is rough, very rough, but as long as I can manage I am going to fight this with all I have. There has been a time or two that I was so low I wondered if I could continue but I know I have to, so I will.

I’m sorry this is such a downer of a post but as I said, this is my life right now. Maybe if someone else going through this reads my post it will help them to not feel so alone. Or if someone has a friend or family member going through this it will help them to understand what their loved one is dealing with. At any rate, I appreciate you all being here.

 

Hello!

 

It’s been a little over a year since I’ve written a post, but I promise I have not forgotten any of my blog friends. However, I don’t blame you if you have forgotten me and I understand since I haven’t been around. I don’t want to be one of those bloggers that just disappears so I thought I would post an update on the past year. 

It’s been a very busy year with the highlight being that I became a great-grandmother last summer! My granddaughter Annika and her husband Nick had a beautiful, 9-pound 10-ounce girl in July. Her name is Juniper Lark and she is such a happy baby, always a joy to be around. I would post a picture but her parents do not want any pictures of her on the internet and I totally understand that. I love having a little one in the family again! 

Another highlight of the year was that my grandson, Gavin, graduated from the Fire Academy which is part of a two-year program in an area community college. He first earned his emergency medical technician (EMT) certification and then went into the Fire Academy program. He is now working as a fire fighter for the City of Independence. Of course, we are all very proud of him!

Tom, Gavin, and myself at his graduation.

Tom has been doing okay although he still has health and mobility problems. He is still using his walker and I’m happy to say he has not had a single fall since he started using it! Our sweet cats, Sophie and Zeus, turned nine this year and they are still bringing us much love and happiness!

Sophie & Zeus

Most of 2024 has been a very good year for us until December when I got hit with some health problems. I have been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer that has spread to the colon. On December 16^th I had some severe stomach pain to the point that Tom called an ambulance to get me to the hospital. After a CT scan they discovered I had an almost complete blockage due to colon cancer. I had surgery and ended up getting a colostomy (which I hate!). They did not remove the cancer yet because they want me to have chemo first. After many more tests in the hospital it turned out that the cancer had started in my ovaries and from there spread to the colon. I spent over a week in the hospital and came home on Christmas Eve. I think I was in shock most of December after receiving such an unexpected diagnosis. Just to make things fun, I came down with covid a couple of days after I came home from the hospital.

Since then, life has been a blur of medical appointments and a second hospitalization last week after my first chemo treatment. I came home last Sunday after a week in the hospital with colitis. I still have pain from the colitis but I’m trying to get to feeling better as my next chemo is Thursday, March 6^th. I had two medical appointments yesterday and hopefully no more until my all-day chemo appointment next week.

I know, I’m 72 and these cancers are stage four, but I am not giving up! I’m trying to stay positive and keep fighting! Despite that, I sure could use any prayers and healing thoughts! No matter what happens, I feel incredibly blessed in my life especially by my wonderful family!

I’ll try to post again when I can and fill you in on everything a little better. I send you all my best, I've missed you!

 

Final Covid Shot & a Request

 

Wednesday, three weeks after our first shot, we drove back up to North Kansas City to get our second Covid shot.  We received the Pfizer vaccine and were told that in two weeks we should hopefully be 95% protected.  Of course, everyone still has to wear masks and observe social distancing, etc. regardless of having had the vaccine.  We chose to drive about 45 minutes away to get our shots so we could get them sooner rather than wait an unknown amount of time.  The area where we live has been very slow getting the vaccine and the waiting list is long.  We didn't mind the drive because we enjoy driving through Kansas City once in a while.  Just for fun, I took a few pictures on the way there and back.  You can tell it was a cloudy day.

KC Royals Baseball Stadium and the
 KC Chiefs Football Stadium is right behind it.

Heading into the city you can see a portion
 of the KC skyline, despite the clouds.

Crossing the Missouri River on the
Bond Bridge on the way home.

After receiving our second shot Tom and I each had the usual sore arm and he had no other side effects.  Unfortunately, this time the side effects got to me.  I was down with a fever, headache and general flu type feelings all day yesterday.  I slept most of the day and didn’t even read blogs, so sorry for no comments yesterday!  I’m better today although I still have a headache that just doesn’t want to leave.  I have to buy groceries today since I didn’t feel like it yesterday, but hopefully I’ll be back to 100% soon.  This is one time I’m grateful to feel bad if it means getting the vaccine!  We look forward to feeling at least a little safer in a couple of weeks and maybe even going out occasionally!  I am hoping that anyone out there that has not yet gotten the vaccine is able to get it soon!  This could be our way out of this pandemic.

I have a favor to ask of all my friends here.  My older brother, Charlie, has been diagnosed with cancer and I wonder if you could say a prayer or maybe have some healing thoughts for him.  He had surgery on March 15^th to remove a cancerous tumor inside the salivary gland on the left side of his face.  They also had to remove the lymph nodes in his neck on that side.  Because of the type of surgery, a nerve on that side of his face had to be cut which left him unable to move any part of his face, mouth or eye on the left side.  He now has to wear an eye patch since he cannot blink or close his left eye.  He will be starting radiation treatments soon.  I have to say Charlie is one amazing person of great faith!  He is taking all of this so well despite the discomfort and pain.  Six years ago he decided to move to Costa Rica.  He is a big nature lover, birder and bird photographer.  Costa Rica provides him everything he loves in nature and bird photography.  He also has a blog if anyone is interested:  Retired in Costa Rica .  Thank you so much for any prayers and good thoughts you can send his way!

 

 

 

February 29th - A Memory

This date has special meaning to me.  When I was a child we joked about it being “Leap Day” and said we would not want to be born on this date.  Who wants a birthday only once every four years?  But what if you died on this date?  I never thought about that.

Well, now I’ve thought about that a lot in the past 12 years because my older brother Jerry died on February 29, 2008.  He was 65 years old and died after a five year battle with Mantel Cell Lymphoma cancer.  He went through multiple chemotherapy treatments, an attempted stem cell transplant and many other uncomfortable treatments.  He was treated at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.  He spent several weeks at the Gift of Life Transplant House in Rochester after the stem cell transplant.  There was a requirement that he have someone stay there with him during that time.  Charlie, our brother, and I each stayed with him for half of his time there.  I took medical leave from my job and stayed for the first part and then Charlie came for the remainder of the time.

I don’t mean to write all this as something sad.  I just want to share my memory of someone that was very special in my life.

Charlie, myself and Jerry, Easter 1954

Jerry was a writer and a newspaper editor but more than anything he was a lover of nature.  He settled in Minnesota because he loved the beautiful countryside, lakes and wildlife.  He camped out and canoed as much as he could and he even spent most of one year living in the wilderness with his tent and canoe.  He taught me so much about many things and always listened when I had a problem.  Jerry was a unique and real person in a world that was often very superficial. 

He had requested to be cremated and have his ashes spread in a quiet and hidden part of the Mississippi headwaters where he used to camp.  He was the first member of our family to be cremated and I initially had mixed feelings about it.  Per his request we only had immediate family members there when we spread his ashes.  It was a beautiful and private ceremony.  It could not have been more perfect and well suited to who he was as a person.

When I thought about his death falling on a date that comes just once every four years, I realized that date would have suited him perfectly.  He was not like any other person I’ve ever known.  He would have liked that date.  If it had not been leap year he would have died on March 1st and he would never have wanted that because it was our Mother’s birthday.  It is funny how things work out sometimes.